“Jealousy is a weak emotion…..”

I admit, sometimes I look at certain people who have certain things and I am jealous. I fight it but too often it wins. I want more money; I want a bigger house; I want to take fly vacations; I want to have gone to a better college and maybe had a clearer career path. Recently, I have been jealous of my own students. Kids who look up to me and respect my opinion, I look at and say “I wish I had it like you.” As someone who helps kids get into college, I have even found myself wishing I had gone to schools I am suggesting they apply to! I want to go the Ivy League school and make all the life-long connections! I want people to know that I am smart immediately when I mention my school’s name! I want what my students have!!!!!!

And then I smacked back into reality. Some of them want what I have. A pretty wife; a cute, smart, athletic child. A home filled with love and loyalty. So many of my kids are scarred by their parents divorce or emotional abandonment. They see me as happy and doing something positive in the world. Some of them even want to be like me. Sure, they know that I am not rich, but so many of my Park Ave clients/students are not sure money cures all ills. They have grown up with money and they are visibly not happy. Throughout my life, I have heard people say that they do not need to be “rich” but rather they just want to be “comfortable.” For a long time, and even now to an extent, I say ‘let me try being rich, and then I will tell you how I feel.’ But these kids, these NYC teenagers with seemingly unlimited financial resources at their disposable sometimes need more love than they do money. They see monotony of their lawyer fathers lives and say “no way.” Do they really admire me? Why? I guess for the reasons that I listed at the top of this paragraph. I am in love with my wife. I kiss my five-year old son as often as he will let me. I am contributing to the world and trying to make it a better place. I am writing this blog to empower and encourage them. And myself. Maybe I am not so bad. Maybe my jealousy is unnecessary. I am blessed and I just reminded myself of that.